I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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