So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
My vagina is very pro this idea
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
