I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
