Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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