apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
