Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
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