I need help removing her.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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