She's JV to your varsity
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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