I like to think it a success when the cops are called
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
