I feel like I'm in dance class right now
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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