I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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