But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
