I'm sorry my penis didn't work
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
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