You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
