Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
