Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
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