I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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