i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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