yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
