I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
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