Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
