Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Randomize
