Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
