i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
