Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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