like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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