My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
