I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
