I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
