member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize
