I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
You need a sexual gate keeper
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
