I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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