So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
