I got chris browned last night
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
