Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Randomize
