It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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