This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Randomize
