i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
