I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
