I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
