Plan B is the new Plan A
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
