Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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