roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
