i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Randomize
