Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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