What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Randomize
