She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
