I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Randomize
