I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
