im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
