I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
